Confession Sacrament

Don't afraid of confession
Don’t afraid of confession

I always scared,afraid and doubt whenever I wanna doing Confession sacrament.

I usually take Confession Sacrament when advent or easter session, another day I never have courage to ask.

I was afraid to ask because my priest will mad and judge me, I was afraid maybe the priest will be tell to anyone about my sins.

I think when I got Confession Sacrament twice on a year especially before christmas and Easter that’s fine because so many people will do that so the priest will not to care about my sins because there are alot people who waiting the priest to confess.

But, that’s the old me, a few a days ago. I ask confession sacrament to my priest after daily mass.

The reason I ask because I think I should to confess, I want a new life and confession sacrament makes me better.

I do still afraid, but my priest know that and helping me, I even know that He is not my priest, he is my Father, my God.

I have courage  after seeing this video from life teen international (you can search it with “confession sacrament”)

Another reason are I was feel calm,peacefully than before even I still struggle about my sin (someday I will tell about my struggle)

Pope Francis on Confession Sacrament
Pope Francis on Confession Sacrament

I know God is merciful and I need His mercy so I go to Confession Sacrament. I bring my doubt,my scared feeling, my confused feeling and also my sins instead and I said on my heart “take this Lord, I want renew my self as Your will”

I even declare to my self to take regularly  take confession sacrament, I think God so kind, He give us tool to erase our sin with that.

So I hope you have courage like me to take confession sacrament, trust me if you still afraid that priest will be mad on you because your sins was too bad or He will talk about your sins to another people that’s not compare with the joyful who you receive after get confession sacrament.

Beside that the priest have promise to God not to tell your sins, so you can enjoy think that you tell your sins to God.

God will listen to you, will help you and will give His mercy on you IF you believe and want.

So let me close this post with message from my papal – my Pope Francis.

message on confession by pope

God bless you all..


source picture : by pinterest & facebook



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World Youth Day

The best thing I want to do right now is join World Youth Day. To be honest I’m just interested on this since a week ago. I had been know about this, but deep in my heart always says “Its imposibble Ana to join that” so that hope was gone.

After God calling me, and I saw how awesome World Youth Day is. A few days before I’m always updating my self with news about World Youth Day and I says on my heart : This is what I need for,and this is what I wanted for.

The next world youth day will be held on Krakow,Poland on July 2016. I ‘m trying searching info from my country who will go there, I want to get the information and luckily I had the news today.

Thanks Lord

but *deep breath* the news is make me confused and panicked. Its about the cost to get there.


Yes I’m work – I get my salary full but to be honest I have so much responsibility to paid that and this. The cost to get WYD 2016 on Poland begin with USD $100/month . Its easy and helpfull actually, but for saving with that number – I feel give up , I feel “oh God – its impossible”. I still try to find another side job than my primary job.

To be honest, right now I feel confused, Should I join this World youth day? deep in my heart still said yes but my logic thinking said “with What? and how”

Nothing impossible with God – I believe that. Right now I’m just need asking to my heart and asking guide from Holy Spirit to the answer. I should ask the reason why I should join this, right now the reason are  I want join world youth day because I want to be a part from every catholic youth who praise God together. I want to enjoy their happiness when they praise God together as a catholic youth and also I wanna see Pope Francis live. LIVE on me.


I must decide 2 weeks from now, because registration will be open from that, for everyone who had chance to join this don’t throw it, DO IT!

I hope I can decide wisely – Let God and Holy spirit guide us.


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RIP Fr. Sixtus Leonard Beth Bary O.Carm

See you soon Romo Sixtus
See you soon Romo Sixtus

Monday Morning during I join mass, My Pastor who lead mass said this mass proudly present for remembering our friends, our servant Father Sixtus or in Indonesian meaning Romo Sixtus.

I really shock at that time. Seriously shock, until I didn’t completely hear about God message on that day – but Thanks God I know the message a bit.

I still not believe Father Sixtus was gone and he was died by accident after he give mass at one ministry.

He was died by his beloved motorcycle 🙁 , on that day I was asking why God take the funniest man on earth to see Him?


To be honest, I believe Father Sixtus didn’t know about me,but I know him when he was life. My sister who so lucky had teach by him.

He was a teacher at St. Albertus High School Malang or in Indonesia said Dempo. When I and my sister and also my parents sit and talk together – there always another funny story from this man (Fr. Sixtus) and I was wondering – who is Fr. Sixtus, why he so popular, why he was so lovely by his student?

so I find him on facebook and boomps I add it and He accept me. Seems a good Father…

Another story I was having fun on dempo night festival – that festival from St Albertus High School which held yearly. When Father Sixtus on stage, the crowd or  most people was so hysterically – everybody said “Romo Sixtussss – Romo Sixtuss” or Father Sixtus repeatedly more than They yell about the guest stars – yeah on dempo night festival there will be famous guest star on it and I think at the moment the guest star doesn’t about the singer but Father Sixtus. He was so loved by his student.

Time goes on, he was moving to another city, my sister was sad and also her friends, I think everybody was hurt to hear he was moving to Jember city – another places.


When my sister diagnosed have nephrotic syndrome about her kidney, I remember Father Sixtus -even he was moving, he call my sister by phone, he cheers my sister and he praying my sister too and it was honor from my family,I said on my heart He is great man – great Father.

Another personal story from me is, He said Happy Birthday on my facebook messenger through prayer too. I was so happy , so blessed for me because he notice my birthday when maybe I’m stranger for him.

He usually said Happy Birthday on every people who is on the birthday and if he have a chocolate, he will give it as a gift. I know this story from my sister. He also know every students names. EVERY STUDENT names. He makes my sister going daily mass everyday whenever she can.

He was funny man on earth that I know another Robbie Williams.

When I read his wall on facebook right now, I always cry, because he was kind person. He was remembered by his kindness and his love to the others. We lost another funniest man on earth. 🙁


If there a Hello, so there is will be a Good bye too, Maybe heaven need Father Sixtus right now (and Robbie Williams is not enough :p )

I believe Father Sixtus was on heaven right now, today I will join his funeral ceremonial, the requiem mass will be held tommorow morning at 9 AM. So from deep in my heart I would to say :

Thanks Father Sixtus, for inspired me how to serve each other with great love,You’ll be forever in my heart. FOREVER.

Please pray for us who still fight on this earth until we can together laugh on heaven. Rest in peace my Father Sixtus. 

so let me close this post by one lyrics from Audrey Assad

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want

Rest in Peace Father Sixtus – I’ll see you soon.

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Weekend for Praise

Last saturday and sunday I feel so blessed and wonderfull instead happy and fun too. Everything begins on Friday Night, I was join Youth Community Charismatic Catholic. I’m new at that community, I feel so happy because that place was I wanted for long and missing for long after I join retreat at Tumpang.

On YCCC I was singing alot, and pray too and feel Holy Spirit comes, I meet new friends too which we praying each other and on that day my YCCC had 6th Anniversary  ( Happy Birthday YCCC HOPE) I get one gift after come.

I feel tired after join that community but I’m Happy, so much happy. I remember when I go to home I still singing. hahaha

At Saturday I have religious tour with another community the name of this community is St Yoseph the Worker Community or on Indonesia means KYP (Komunitas St Yusup Pekerja) , its really different from another YCCC but it was awesome too.

We go to Pusarang – to pray and devotion to St Mary. On St Yoseph Worker Community I feel so fun, happy and absolutely young. I was so blessed to be on that part community. This is some pict how fun we are

Religious Tour St Yoseph the Worker Community
Religious Tour St Yoseph the Worker Community

On this community I feel I found my home too, we are work together to praise Jesus and It was great.

Komunitas St Yusuf Pekerja Malang
Komunitas St Yusuf Pekerja Malang


Religious Tour at Pusarang Okt 14 by KYP


I was arrived at home at 10 pm at saturday after tour. I was so tired but I remember what God said on bible, ” A joyful heart is a good medicine” even I’m so tired but I’m happy. I’m grateful had chance to praise Jesus through His Mother again.

St Mary pray for us
St Mary pray for us

The reason I join their both community because I want to share my talent from God to the others, I want to learn from another presepective from the others and learn something new too.

and the story of praise not ended on saturday. At Sunday I was blessed again. I and my sister had chance to be lector on our chapel community, St Mark Chapel.

I usually had chance to be lector and I was bored bored bored. But right now its different I was feel blessing, because I had chance to share my talent to the others, I feel God use me to praise Him and thankfully on Him.

So I was make it as Joy and I take a picture before and after mass.

Happy to be lector
Happy to be lector – thanks God

Anyway, thanks God for your blessing and joy You give to me.For the new people you have give to me.

Please use me as your tool be the light and the salt of the world. Happy monday God.

Love you always

Anastasia Ajeng

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Know the Difference

Today I was surfing on the internet and suddenly open catholic playlist show on their website , I just want to hear some worship song and I was wondering because there are so many – many catholic singer and I never hear their songs.

Music on my life was important things because by hear music I feel rich *haha 😀 * but that’s true another that, I feel peace and I feel saved.  Lately I really like worship songs Newboys,JPCC,Nikita,Josh Groban,I’ll Divo and I just know them.

So after I surfing on catholic playlist show – I feel so WOW, and there so many catholic singer but their music was great. Right now I’m definitely fans of Matt Maher,PJ Anderson,Audrey Assad,Sarah Hart,The Priest and many more. For the people who had hear them song maybe I was so old  fashion, but for me as newbie and hear their songs I really-really enjoyed and I still open my ear to hear anything catholic singer or band.

Beside that, now I know the difference when I hear songs not worship and worship. When I hear worship song I feel strong again, I feel blessed, I feel happy, I don’t feel “melancholic” like when I hear not worship songs. It means I won’t erase all my collection about not worship songs, but I will selective again to hear what music I should hear.

One day, I was hear podcast, funny podcast but I’m forget who is speaking and I tell you, the theme of that podcast is “Do you put God on your ipod?” on that podcast,the speaker isn’t teach us to hate pop music nowadays, but the speakers teach us to selective see the truth on every lyrics, not only the rhythm is good but see the truth on the lyrics.

By knowing the difference its make us wise again to choose, its like when we read St Luke said today, to know the sign. For me another know the sign we should know the difference first.

So Let give ourselves to hear worship song, another that make us calm and that is the way we speak on God too. May you find the joy,the happiness,the truth on every music you hear.

God bless you and have great weekend,


Anastasia Ajeng

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Today I was visit my friend at work which she had birth her first child. Everything seems fine until I hear the story about how her husband help her when she wants to give birth.


Her husband office is out of town, it might be 3 hours from his place to his home, but because his wife want to give birth He was come with only 1 hours – I believe he was used maximum speed on his motorbike.

He said that He will do that because he loves and cant hardly wait to see his first child.

But the cute story not just ended on that, after he come, he help his wife to stroke his wife back, because his wife feeling pain so much when prepare the birth and he doing that with so much love.


“Love is sacrifice”

I was note on that way…

and she tell me how lucky she is to have that. Until my human attitude shown

“boomb – JEALOUSY”

I admit deep on my heart I was jealous, very jealous to her.

How to be not jealous,I’m single right now and I was dream to have someone like that, but thanks God that’s happen on a bit way because today I was read great article about how to dealing with jealousy by Pope Francis.


Pope Francis said when he jealous (I was surprised about this, He can be jealous too)

“When I am jealous, I must say to the Lord: ‘Thank you, Lord, for you have given this to that person’.”


Yes the gratitude to feeling jealous and after that I feel better. I was remember again that every story – every love story for each other was different just believe that my love story still on process by Jesus Christ and suddenly I feel calm down again.


Feeling jealous proves to us that we are human which have weakness, and because of our weakness we should know that only God can make us perfect.

So don’t feel guilty to feel jealous and don’t be feel jealous too long. Whenever you feel jealous remember what Pope Francis said.


May God protect and heal you from your weakness,



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Be not afraid – JP2 Quote

“Be not afraid – JP2 Quote”

Today is first year feast St John Paul II, for me He was wonderful and amazing. He dedicate him self with Mary through to Jesus. He was forgive someone who had attack him by gun and still treat the killer as his friends. Its awesome right?


I never seen him live – usually I see him on tv but I think he is great person.

I wish so many people especially are insipred by him, every his thought and his act.

So today I dedicated all prayer to Him, Happy first year feast St. John Paul II – thank you so much for bless and pray for us.

God bless,


source : weheartit

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Daily Mass


So,  right now I was really exited to following or attend mass everyday.

I feel Jesus invited us – of course it free – to come and see Him at mass especially on Eucharist. It’s not about i will be to be nun someday, or I was depressed because I just hurt broken (but I admit it that)

But when I’m attend mass I just feel peace and happiness. The happiness that I always try to find it on. I feel the moment on silence before mass want to started, is the moment God speak with me.

After following daily mass, maybe my problem still there (of course it is) but I feel so strong to courage my problem and also to face it.

I feel Jesus always said to me “come,seek me and join me on my party everyday” and that is Daily Mass.

It takes only 30 minutes on your life everyday to enjoy Jesus party.

I admit it that following daily mass need strong intention because for me I should wake up early morning, asking my driver to take me on church and I also I will come to work with early morning too.

But that’s worth it, I feel like I was reborn again , I have strong to face anything today and also I can find joy in every moments even on silence moment.

With following daily mass, I believe Christ come at there. It will be sad if Christ had given us 24 hours to work but we can repay by following and enjoy His party on Mass with only 30 minutes.

With following daily mass, I feel I was look and hug by Mother of God, Virgin Mary, I usually takes 15 minutes to pray rosary. When I feel I cant speak anything I just keep pray rosary because I believe Mary knows what I need.

So, will you take your time for enjoy Jesus Christ party on your life everyday at 30 minutes?

May your problem not solved but it changed you the way you see your problem.


May God bless you abundantly





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Lesson from broken heart again

Hi anyone!

Sorry for long time I didn’t update this blog because I was healing my self  (instead God help too) because I was broken heart again on relationship. My relationship with my boyfriend was over a week ago.

So I need refresh my self, enjoy my pain and I didn’t want to write so emotionally on here..

I was broken heart or break up on relationship over and over again, I was feel like dumb,stupid and failed again. I was cry and mad to myself why it failed again?

so on my refection time alone, I sit and talk to my Jesus, I ask to God why every relationship I take always failed and I feel peace after talking anything to Him, even He didn’t answer to me directly but somehow I found a quote that encourage me

“Don’t be afraid, you’re not walk alone and you never failed on My eyes, trust on My Plan not yours”

That’s it, I feel maybe I’m not seek God seriously…

Maybe when I’m on relationship I just seek the fake happiness not from the eternal happiness which is Jesus.

So Did you afraid to take chance for love again?

Absolutely No, God is love – love is greatest gift from God to us. I’m not afraid to take a chance to be falling in love again, because I know God will lead at this time if I seek God first – If I have based strong relationship with God.

The lesson of broken heart makes me know that God will heal my pain, right now I’m feeling better than before. I let God fix my broken heart, I let to forgiving my self and my ex boyfriend and also I’m focus to enjoy what happen on my life in the future, I wanna involved on God plans for me.

Its okay if you stay mad or cry when you are on broken heart, but let’s move on. You are live on the future not at the past. Let God heal your pain, Let God fix your burden heart…

Find the joy being hurt or Find joy on every situation you take – I will say that and remember that you never walk alone.


God Bless,


Anastasia Ajeng



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God’s is not Dead

This is not a movie review, but I just finished to watch this movie, and this is awesome Movie.

It makes me realized something and I will write on this

(sorry if looks like I was high to write this, but I think my Holy Spirit leads me to write this)

This is message for people who didn’t believe that God is exist, message for people who walk away from God and give up to Him :

Looks sometimes life give us shit, all kind shit like we make that shit or somebody make that shit to us.

Life can’t predictable and sounds complicated and also like movie.

I was have turn over too on my spirituality life, sometimes when I have so many problem I seek God and when I don’t have problem I’m forget to Him.

and right now when we are down, when we have something that beyond our control, we give up, we just trying to figure who is wrong and why wrong.

So let me share a bit about this for you.

For me, all that kind of shit or something you cant control is the way God to call us. Why He need call to us? because He loves you, He just want to teach you that there is a power more than you have, more than you think and also more than you imagine.

He just need you put your faith on Him and let Him do His ways.

Its not easy to say this, its not easy to act this.

Sometimes, We shame to talk with Him. But I say this, God is merciful, God will always open the door for people who seek Him, no words “late” on Him. He not like us who have closed our heart to Him. He is great, He will open His door only for you.

So what’s should I do when I was entering His room?

well, just talk to Him, you can talk to Him as your friends, you don’t need like officially words, or If you cant still talk just enjoy the silence between you and God. He can hear from your hearts even you can’t say anything.

and this is for reminder, after we talk to Him, we will feel peace, but our problem maybe not solved yet. Please remember that God has timing and plan for us. Just put your problem on Him, even you think you didn’t have problem at all, you can say anything to God.

God will answer in mysterious ways, something that you cant expected and it was beautiful. And right now, this is will be your choice.

Will you give yourself to God so He can fix you? 

Will you accept Him and open your heart to Him?

God’s not dead, God is good and always.


Let me close this post with a prayer,

“Dear God,

Thanks for always be there for us even on bad times or good times.

Thanks for loving and accept us as sinner and still protect us as your precious child.

Right now, we just want to give everything we had to you, our past – present and future.

We let You to fix that as we know that you always give us power to be strong to struggle every problems.

Dear God, this pray is not perfect but You always know what we need for ourselves. 

Thanks God for everything. In the name of Jesus. Amen”




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