Happy 26th Wedding Anniversary to My Parents!

Dear Mom & Dad,

First of all, I wanna say thank you for always love me by taking care of me. I’m really grateful everyday especially today on your special day.

I always have anxiety about the future will become, because so many dark times attack on many family, but you teach and show that true love still exist.

I know the road until 26th years it doesn’t easy, so many problems you had faced (and still till right now) but you both still stand each other.

mom & dad

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BE HAPPY!

Today I was talking with my facebook friends, He told me that he was so depressed about his singleness.

So like usually I encourage him, but I think what I said doesn’t help him much #oh Lord!

To be honest, Today I feel same like him, No -just a bit , but not depresed :p

I feel like dumping by someone, or you can say like the new Taylor Swift song , Blank Space.

Oh God, but it doesn’t take longer because I know how to deal that situation,

Do you want to know single ladies? or gentleman how I can deal with that?

PRAY ROSARY 

That’s my weapon, because sometimes I think Satan doesn’t want us to be happy, Satan have so many many many many many ways to make us sorrow, and We have free will to enjoy sorrow situation or find the joy about that (TAKE THAT SATAN!)

Be happy as single, look I’m still single too but I try to be happy single but  NOT LIKE FAKE HAPPY SINGLE!

Not Fake Happy Single is like someone who always crying, depressed so much about their condition until they didn’t recognized His blessing to us every time and usually they always think happiness depends by Human and have relationship with someone.

Oh man – Oh girl, wake up 2015 will coming and you still being like that?

***

I was read this quote :

When you never happy as single life, so you will never happy as you with someone!

I know right now when you read this, you will shake your head and you will ask, but How I’m being happy as single when everybody have someone, when people threat me differently as single (usually bad threat like something wrong with you) or when nobody loves me?

Aha! You ask me?

First thing first :

Look upon the Cross – See the greater love on there! See He loves you soooooo much more than you love Him (yeaa I know) and I really hate hear people said nobody loves me, I will rolling my eyes , no just jokes I will said look upon the Cross, see He loves you, if He not loves you, He will not choose die hang on there, but He loves you and He always beside you.

Second :

When everybody have everybody -> believe His plan, Trust God plans for you. He is more than director or writers TFIOS/If I stay/About Time/The Notebook (you can say every romance movie you like), He is the great love writers, and He still writing your loves story. You don’t want your love story being like such as boring movie right?

Third :

Shake it Off – yeaah looks like I’m swifties, but yeah I’m swifties – so what? :p

Shake it Off I mean shake it your life, whatever happen just shake it and don’t forget to invite God shake it Off with you. He is great dancer too, dont forget about that!

Last but not least! and moreeee important than above things!

Be Holy as Single

Attend Daily Mass  – check that

Go to Confession – Check that

Praying Rosary even 5th times a day – check that

Praying St. Anne Novena (or another novenas) – check that

Go to Adoration Eucharist – check that

Attend Youth Ministry for praise and worship – check that

Visit grandma or grand father or people on prison – check that!

When you have deep relationship on Him, you will  wondering about your self because He will show you and change you how to be the real man or woman, He will give you what you looking for a whole time, He will pass that bad things together with you but You should trust on Him.

Never ever think God was not funny person, HE IS FUNNY and HE IS FUN! Follow His way is not easy but its fun, sometimes we just need shake it off dance with Him.

So be happy as single and Lets we dance Shake it Off and Happy – Pharell song

I’ll sent my prayers on you!

 

Anastasia Ajeng

 

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Marriage part 2

Hey Everyone 😀 [give all high FIVE]

I wish every of you is good like me, Amen.

Today I will talk about marriage, yes I was told you about the marriage on here but seems like when I wrote that, I still on high tension of emotion. Sorry, because I was so stressfull about it.

Right now I feel great to talk about it. so here We go

***

I always wanted to be marry someday,wearing white – seeing my husband with black tuxedo crying look at us because after all we had, finally we make it.

When I was kids, I know my vocational life will be to be marry. So I have so many things what I dream of and to do on my wedding.

After I know how relationship with my boyfriend was, after any pains – joy that I had into it, I realized that marriage its more harder, more difficult more complicated than on relationship.

But until right now, I still believe about marriage institution. Right now I really more find the meaning of marriage. Its not about the weddings, its not about I love you and you love me, its not about how sex or intimacy we want to make, Its not about how will financial going, its not about kids. Marriage its really super complicated.

After all that I learned (and still learn until right now) I know how the truly meaning of marriage.

Marriage its about how God as center on our life, how we are as spouse/family leading together closer to Christ because no body can make you satisfy (which is satisfy is about happiness) except The One that created you.

Marriage its about sacrifice,sacrifice and sacrifice – Its all about giving.

If you still think marriage need take and give, you will always upset. ALWAYS.

Maybe you don’t believe it, but that’s it – we can look St Joseph and Mother Mary – Th Holy Family from Nazareth.

Have you ever think if St Joseph can refuse to marry Mother Mary which is She was pregnant not from him?

Have you ever think, Mother Mary even can refuse to be pregnant if she wants.

But THEY NOT, They sacrifice their self  and they even really love their kids – Jesus.

***

When you put your happiness to people, you will always upset,mad and bad. So maybe you will asking me, so why we should marry if there is no happiness on it?

oh that’s wrong. With marriage we will more closer to the Christ and we will happy – If you really  really realized about it.

Just like example, I never put God as on my center relationship with my boyfriends before, so I always think the happiness its about I have boyfriend.

But right now, I’m on relationship with man. I love him, really love him but this time was different, We put God as center of this relationship. We pray together, support each other and still keep try to far away from sins. So what I feel?

really different. I’m happy really happy – so I imagine if I was marriage, I will be more happy than this.

***

But I don’t want to be marriage its justification from avoid sins, because the ages, or anything. I still believe that Marriage was vocational life and its really-really sacred.

That’s why marriage need preparation, and I still learn about it, as long as I can to learn because right now I don’t want to wasting time get relationship if the purpose its not building family – leading to Christ together.

Well, I wish every reader who read this article really-really know about the meaning of marriage and I will pray for you.

God bless you all……..

***

 

 

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World Youth Day

The best thing I want to do right now is join World Youth Day. To be honest I’m just interested on this since a week ago. I had been know about this, but deep in my heart always says “Its imposibble Ana to join that” so that hope was gone.

After God calling me, and I saw how awesome World Youth Day is. A few days before I’m always updating my self with news about World Youth Day and I says on my heart : This is what I need for,and this is what I wanted for.

The next world youth day will be held on Krakow,Poland on July 2016. I ‘m trying searching info from my country who will go there, I want to get the information and luckily I had the news today.

Thanks Lord

but *deep breath* the news is make me confused and panicked. Its about the cost to get there.

***

Yes I’m work – I get my salary full but to be honest I have so much responsibility to paid that and this. The cost to get WYD 2016 on Poland begin with USD $100/month . Its easy and helpfull actually, but for saving with that number – I feel give up , I feel “oh God – its impossible”. I still try to find another side job than my primary job.

To be honest, right now I feel confused, Should I join this World youth day? deep in my heart still said yes but my logic thinking said “with What? and how”

Nothing impossible with God – I believe that. Right now I’m just need asking to my heart and asking guide from Holy Spirit to the answer. I should ask the reason why I should join this, right now the reason are  I want join world youth day because I want to be a part from every catholic youth who praise God together. I want to enjoy their happiness when they praise God together as a catholic youth and also I wanna see Pope Francis live. LIVE on me.

***

I must decide 2 weeks from now, because registration will be open from that, for everyone who had chance to join this don’t throw it, DO IT!

I hope I can decide wisely – Let God and Holy spirit guide us.

Amen.

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RIP Fr. Sixtus Leonard Beth Bary O.Carm

See you soon Romo Sixtus
See you soon Romo Sixtus

Monday Morning during I join mass, My Pastor who lead mass said this mass proudly present for remembering our friends, our servant Father Sixtus or in Indonesian meaning Romo Sixtus.

I really shock at that time. Seriously shock, until I didn’t completely hear about God message on that day – but Thanks God I know the message a bit.

I still not believe Father Sixtus was gone and he was died by accident after he give mass at one ministry.

He was died by his beloved motorcycle 🙁 , on that day I was asking why God take the funniest man on earth to see Him?

***

To be honest, I believe Father Sixtus didn’t know about me,but I know him when he was life. My sister who so lucky had teach by him.

He was a teacher at St. Albertus High School Malang or in Indonesia said Dempo. When I and my sister and also my parents sit and talk together – there always another funny story from this man (Fr. Sixtus) and I was wondering – who is Fr. Sixtus, why he so popular, why he was so lovely by his student?

so I find him on facebook and boomps I add it and He accept me. Seems a good Father…

Another story I was having fun on dempo night festival – that festival from St Albertus High School which held yearly. When Father Sixtus on stage, the crowd or  most people was so hysterically – everybody said “Romo Sixtussss – Romo Sixtuss” or Father Sixtus repeatedly more than They yell about the guest stars – yeah on dempo night festival there will be famous guest star on it and I think at the moment the guest star doesn’t about the singer but Father Sixtus. He was so loved by his student.

Time goes on, he was moving to another city, my sister was sad and also her friends, I think everybody was hurt to hear he was moving to Jember city – another places.

***

When my sister diagnosed have nephrotic syndrome about her kidney, I remember Father Sixtus -even he was moving, he call my sister by phone, he cheers my sister and he praying my sister too and it was honor from my family,I said on my heart He is great man – great Father.

Another personal story from me is, He said Happy Birthday on my facebook messenger through prayer too. I was so happy , so blessed for me because he notice my birthday when maybe I’m stranger for him.

He usually said Happy Birthday on every people who is on the birthday and if he have a chocolate, he will give it as a gift. I know this story from my sister. He also know every students names. EVERY STUDENT names. He makes my sister going daily mass everyday whenever she can.

He was funny man on earth that I know another Robbie Williams.

When I read his wall on facebook right now, I always cry, because he was kind person. He was remembered by his kindness and his love to the others. We lost another funniest man on earth. 🙁

***

If there a Hello, so there is will be a Good bye too, Maybe heaven need Father Sixtus right now (and Robbie Williams is not enough :p )

I believe Father Sixtus was on heaven right now, today I will join his funeral ceremonial, the requiem mass will be held tommorow morning at 9 AM. So from deep in my heart I would to say :

Thanks Father Sixtus, for inspired me how to serve each other with great love,You’ll be forever in my heart. FOREVER.

Please pray for us who still fight on this earth until we can together laugh on heaven. Rest in peace my Father Sixtus. 

so let me close this post by one lyrics from Audrey Assad

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want

Rest in Peace Father Sixtus – I’ll see you soon.

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Weekend for Praise

Last saturday and sunday I feel so blessed and wonderfull instead happy and fun too. Everything begins on Friday Night, I was join Youth Community Charismatic Catholic. I’m new at that community, I feel so happy because that place was I wanted for long and missing for long after I join retreat at Tumpang.

On YCCC I was singing alot, and pray too and feel Holy Spirit comes, I meet new friends too which we praying each other and on that day my YCCC had 6th Anniversary  ( Happy Birthday YCCC HOPE) I get one gift after come.

I feel tired after join that community but I’m Happy, so much happy. I remember when I go to home I still singing. hahaha

At Saturday I have religious tour with another community the name of this community is St Yoseph the Worker Community or on Indonesia means KYP (Komunitas St Yusup Pekerja) , its really different from another YCCC but it was awesome too.

We go to Pusarang – to pray and devotion to St Mary. On St Yoseph Worker Community I feel so fun, happy and absolutely young. I was so blessed to be on that part community. This is some pict how fun we are

Religious Tour St Yoseph the Worker Community
Religious Tour St Yoseph the Worker Community

On this community I feel I found my home too, we are work together to praise Jesus and It was great.

Komunitas St Yusuf Pekerja Malang
Komunitas St Yusuf Pekerja Malang

 

KYP
Religious Tour at Pusarang Okt 14 by KYP

 

I was arrived at home at 10 pm at saturday after tour. I was so tired but I remember what God said on bible, ” A joyful heart is a good medicine” even I’m so tired but I’m happy. I’m grateful had chance to praise Jesus through His Mother again.

St Mary pray for us
St Mary pray for us

The reason I join their both community because I want to share my talent from God to the others, I want to learn from another presepective from the others and learn something new too.

and the story of praise not ended on saturday. At Sunday I was blessed again. I and my sister had chance to be lector on our chapel community, St Mark Chapel.

I usually had chance to be lector and I was bored bored bored. But right now its different I was feel blessing, because I had chance to share my talent to the others, I feel God use me to praise Him and thankfully on Him.

So I was make it as Joy and I take a picture before and after mass.

Happy to be lector
Happy to be lector – thanks God

Anyway, thanks God for your blessing and joy You give to me.For the new people you have give to me.

Please use me as your tool be the light and the salt of the world. Happy monday God.

Love you always

Anastasia Ajeng

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Jealousy

Today I was visit my friend at work which she had birth her first child. Everything seems fine until I hear the story about how her husband help her when she wants to give birth.

***

Her husband office is out of town, it might be 3 hours from his place to his home, but because his wife want to give birth He was come with only 1 hours – I believe he was used maximum speed on his motorbike.

He said that He will do that because he loves and cant hardly wait to see his first child.

But the cute story not just ended on that, after he come, he help his wife to stroke his wife back, because his wife feeling pain so much when prepare the birth and he doing that with so much love.

 

“Love is sacrifice”

I was note on that way…

and she tell me how lucky she is to have that. Until my human attitude shown

“boomb – JEALOUSY”

I admit deep on my heart I was jealous, very jealous to her.

How to be not jealous,I’m single right now and I was dream to have someone like that, but thanks God that’s happen on a bit way because today I was read great article about how to dealing with jealousy by Pope Francis.

 

Pope Francis said when he jealous (I was surprised about this, He can be jealous too)

“When I am jealous, I must say to the Lord: ‘Thank you, Lord, for you have given this to that person’.”

 

Yes the gratitude to feeling jealous and after that I feel better. I was remember again that every story – every love story for each other was different just believe that my love story still on process by Jesus Christ and suddenly I feel calm down again.

 

Feeling jealous proves to us that we are human which have weakness, and because of our weakness we should know that only God can make us perfect.

So don’t feel guilty to feel jealous and don’t be feel jealous too long. Whenever you feel jealous remember what Pope Francis said.

 

May God protect and heal you from your weakness,

 

Ana

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Be not afraid – JP2 Quote

“Be not afraid – JP2 Quote”

Today is first year feast St John Paul II, for me He was wonderful and amazing. He dedicate him self with Mary through to Jesus. He was forgive someone who had attack him by gun and still treat the killer as his friends. Its awesome right?

10372050_10152817158264084_1425556463492645073_n

I never seen him live – usually I see him on tv but I think he is great person.

I wish so many people especially are insipred by him, every his thought and his act.

So today I dedicated all prayer to Him, Happy first year feast St. John Paul II – thank you so much for bless and pray for us.

God bless,

Ana

source : weheartit

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Lesson from broken heart again

Hi anyone!

Sorry for long time I didn’t update this blog because I was healing my self  (instead God help too) because I was broken heart again on relationship. My relationship with my boyfriend was over a week ago.

So I need refresh my self, enjoy my pain and I didn’t want to write so emotionally on here..

I was broken heart or break up on relationship over and over again, I was feel like dumb,stupid and failed again. I was cry and mad to myself why it failed again?

so on my refection time alone, I sit and talk to my Jesus, I ask to God why every relationship I take always failed and I feel peace after talking anything to Him, even He didn’t answer to me directly but somehow I found a quote that encourage me

“Don’t be afraid, you’re not walk alone and you never failed on My eyes, trust on My Plan not yours”

That’s it, I feel maybe I’m not seek God seriously…

Maybe when I’m on relationship I just seek the fake happiness not from the eternal happiness which is Jesus.

So Did you afraid to take chance for love again?

Absolutely No, God is love – love is greatest gift from God to us. I’m not afraid to take a chance to be falling in love again, because I know God will lead at this time if I seek God first – If I have based strong relationship with God.

The lesson of broken heart makes me know that God will heal my pain, right now I’m feeling better than before. I let God fix my broken heart, I let to forgiving my self and my ex boyfriend and also I’m focus to enjoy what happen on my life in the future, I wanna involved on God plans for me.

Its okay if you stay mad or cry when you are on broken heart, but let’s move on. You are live on the future not at the past. Let God heal your pain, Let God fix your burden heart…

Find the joy being hurt or Find joy on every situation you take – I will say that and remember that you never walk alone.

 

God Bless,

 

Anastasia Ajeng

 

 

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God’s is not Dead

This is not a movie review, but I just finished to watch this movie, and this is awesome Movie.

It makes me realized something and I will write on this

(sorry if looks like I was high to write this, but I think my Holy Spirit leads me to write this)

This is message for people who didn’t believe that God is exist, message for people who walk away from God and give up to Him :

Looks sometimes life give us shit, all kind shit like we make that shit or somebody make that shit to us.

Life can’t predictable and sounds complicated and also like movie.

I was have turn over too on my spirituality life, sometimes when I have so many problem I seek God and when I don’t have problem I’m forget to Him.

and right now when we are down, when we have something that beyond our control, we give up, we just trying to figure who is wrong and why wrong.

So let me share a bit about this for you.

For me, all that kind of shit or something you cant control is the way God to call us. Why He need call to us? because He loves you, He just want to teach you that there is a power more than you have, more than you think and also more than you imagine.

He just need you put your faith on Him and let Him do His ways.

Its not easy to say this, its not easy to act this.

Sometimes, We shame to talk with Him. But I say this, God is merciful, God will always open the door for people who seek Him, no words “late” on Him. He not like us who have closed our heart to Him. He is great, He will open His door only for you.

So what’s should I do when I was entering His room?

well, just talk to Him, you can talk to Him as your friends, you don’t need like officially words, or If you cant still talk just enjoy the silence between you and God. He can hear from your hearts even you can’t say anything.

and this is for reminder, after we talk to Him, we will feel peace, but our problem maybe not solved yet. Please remember that God has timing and plan for us. Just put your problem on Him, even you think you didn’t have problem at all, you can say anything to God.

God will answer in mysterious ways, something that you cant expected and it was beautiful. And right now, this is will be your choice.

Will you give yourself to God so He can fix you? 

Will you accept Him and open your heart to Him?

God’s not dead, God is good and always.

=========================================================

Let me close this post with a prayer,

“Dear God,

Thanks for always be there for us even on bad times or good times.

Thanks for loving and accept us as sinner and still protect us as your precious child.

Right now, we just want to give everything we had to you, our past – present and future.

We let You to fix that as we know that you always give us power to be strong to struggle every problems.

Dear God, this pray is not perfect but You always know what we need for ourselves. 

Thanks God for everything. In the name of Jesus. Amen”

 

 

 

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